Category Archives: Daily Buddhism

Daily Buddhism

Working with a Bad Boss

4 Comments

A reader writes:

My question is how do I learn to be compassionate for someone who isn’t doing the same for me?

I experienced what I can only describe as bullying from my former boss in my  last work place and had to leave. I tried to show loving kindness to my previous boss and calmly stood my ground but nothing changed.  I  left and took a fixed term contract just to get out of the situation and now my contract is nearly up. As a result I need a reference but my former boss has refused to do more than acknowledge I worked there. Although we had our differences I feel that I did a lot of good in my job and I believe this is an unfair response on his part. I can of course ask someone else for a reference and his actions will not prevent me from getting another job but I feel that his actions are unfair and I have felt at various points like I should get angry or comfort him about his actions even though I know all of this is futile. I realize of course that the only thing I can change is my perception.

Can you or your readers advise some meditation practice or teaching that might help me get past this?

My response:

Some bosses are wonderful people, while others have “issues.” There’s nothing you can do about it. If this was some simple misunderstanding, you could talk to him and work it out, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. He simply doesn’t like you. Probably in his eyes, you have done something wrong. Whether you agree on this point or not is irrelevant.

Buddha once said, “The more you wrestle with a turd, the more it stinks.” OK, that wasn’t really Buddha, it was my grandma. Still, it’s good advice. He’s got some kind of grudge against you, and has held that grudge for more than a year. It’s not going away. It’s time to move on from that situation. Get your reference from someone else in the company, get one from your temporary position, and focus on getting a new job rather than convincing this guy to like you.

You are right when you say you can only change your own perception. It sounds like the one not letting go here is you. Why are you so attached to having this person approve of you? If you actually did something wrong, then you need to accept it and deal with the consequences. If you didn’t then it’s his grudge, not yours. Let it go. Don’t be attached to anything, much less someone else’s opinion of you.

Check out “The Muddy Road,” a story that applies here.

Daily Buddhism

Legendary Days and Holidays

1 Comment

A Reader writes:

I’m listening to the podcast on Buddhist Christmas, and I just wanted to add one thing. Technically, Christmas is not a Christian holiday. It started in Germany from a saint (Nicholas) who gave out presents to orphans. And if you do scientific research, you can figure out that there is no evidence to when Jesus was born. The census from that time wasn’t until the spring and they have no birth record of Jesus. They just have the bible that says people were there. But it doesn’t say when (not that I have found). Just adding my input. Thank you for the podcasts and what you have done.

My response:

There’s not exactly a question there, but I can respond anyway. As far as I know, what you say is true. I don’t know of any Christians who really think December 25th is Jesus’ birthday. There may be some; it doesn’t matter. The best info I’ve heard was that Jesus was actually born in the summer. That theory also makes a load of assumptions, but seems more realistic than December 25th.

Buddha’s birthday is on May 6th in 2014, and it’s celebrated each year by Buddhists around the world. It’s not on the same date every year though, since calendar systems in ancient China don’t match up well to our current, more accurate system. It’s complicated, and the changes in calendar systems over the millennia don’t help clarify the facts. Does it really matter though?

The bottom line is that details like these don’t matter. Buddha didn’t ask us to celebrate his birthday; neither did Jesus for that matter. It’s just a thing we’ve chosen to do out of respect, or the need to celebrate, or something like that. Both these characters have gotten to the point where, despite the facts and truth, have become essentially legendary characters. Facts don’t matter so much with legends; what they said and did is what’s important.

Daily Buddhism, Ethics

From New York to India, by Forrest Curran

3 Comments
Forrest Curran
Forrest Curran

It’s Guest Post time once again!

If you or someone you know is interested in writing a guest post, drop me a note.

Forrest Curran is the founder of Purple Buddha Project. From Tokyo, Japan; he is currently traveling the World while he spreads motivation and encouragement through his project.

 

 

From New York to India

Following your dreams is essentially trying to get from one point to another. To say it in the easiest terms, basically you are at point A (your current position) and you want to get to point B (achieving your dreams). Chasing your dreams is kind of like traveling and at the same time, quite the adventure. Let’s say you are a dreamer from New York and your dream was all the way in India. How would you get there? What if you didn’t have the money to buy a plane ticket?

People give up so quickly and most people are going to quit the moment they realize that they can’t buy the ticket. The true dreamers stick around and realize that there is a plethora of ways to get to India besides riding a plane. One could work on a cruise from New York to Europe then hitchhike to India, one could work for a while then ride a boat from New York to Portugal then ride a motorcycle to India, one could learn French then go to France to teach English for a while then go to India through a ride that his friend gave him, etc…. You see what I’m doing here? There is an infinite ways to go from point A to point B, the only thing that this depends on is one’s determination. Theoretically if one walks all the way to Argentina from New York because in Buenos Aires there is a free plane ticket, even if it might take that person a year or so to get there, they will have accomplished their mission.

Traveling with no money is no different than the decision to follow a dream where the circumstances are hardly ideal: not enough cash, don’t have enough time, having self-doubt, etc. But if the dreamer makes the first step and never heads back, no matter how slow they may be going, the dreamer would be going closer and closer to their dream. The dreamer may undergo through some quite painful experiences trying to get to India, but having gone through those experiences along the journey, the dreamer would had only become a stronger version of themselves having gone through those hardships. Be grateful of pains and mistakes made in life, it gives us a chance to learn and become a greater version of ourselves. Achieving the dream isn’t necessarily the greatest of importance, it’s the person one becomes along the journey to their dreams.

Namaste,

Forrest Curran

 

 

Daily Buddhism

Converting to Buddhism

1 Comment

A reader writes:

What would it take to convert over to Buddhism?

My Response:

We’ve talked about this a number of times before, but it keeps coming up, so at the very least, that means there a lot of wanna-be new Buddhists out there. That’s a good thing!

Although there are some traditions or denominations of Buddhism that have a very specific conversion process, such as the Tibetan approach, most don’t have a bunch of rules on the subject. It’s not like you can send away for a diploma or certificate that says “Now I am a Buddhist.”

Generally speaking, at least the way I look at it, Buddhism is not so much about what you believe, as it is about what you do. To use an old Christian expression, it’s about “Works,” not “Faith.” Or more technically, Buddhism is a religion of practice, not beliefs. If you agree with the Four Noble Truths, and try to live your life in agreement with the Eightfold Path, and the Precepts, then you are a Buddhist. Even then, you are allowed occasional failures.

That being said, you do need to understand what you mean by calling yourself a Buddhist. It’s an ongoing process of education and meditation for most. There are a number of good introductory books on the topic, including the one at the top of this page. There are many good websites as well. Learn about it. Keep on learning about it. But the only real rule is that you need to start acting and behaving as a Buddhist.

It really is as simple as that; You’re a Buddhist if you act like one. Also keep in mind that most Buddhists are lay practitioners, not priests or monks. You don’t have to be like those guys, at least not unless you really want to. Just do the best you can; relieve suffering, help others, be mindful. This is Buddhism.

 

Here are some links to older discussions on the topic:

Becoming a Buddhist

So You Want to be a Buddhist?

Taking Refuge in the Three Jewels

Daily Buddhism

Lamas, Geshes and Cults… It’s the NKT!

10 Comments

A reader writes:

 I have a question:  What is going on with the brouhaha over Dorje Shugden and the row between the Dalai Lama and the New Kadampa Tradition? (if this is too detailed a question for your site, that’s totally fine.)

My response:

It’s a big question, one that may be beyond the scope of this site, but here’s the story in a nutshell.
The New Kadampa Tradition was founded by Geshe Kelseng Gyatso in 1991 as a sort of offshoot of the Tibetan school of Buddhism. They grew rapidly, having dozens schools across the globe. The leader of the Tibetans was, and still is, the Dalai Lama. At first, the Dalai Lama approved of the new offshoot sect, but somewhere down the line, things changed. Kelsan Gyatso accused the D.L. of not doing enough to regain control of Tibet, while some Dalai Lama supporters have gone so far as to say the Chinese government is backing the NKT to make the D.L. look ineffectual.  The competition between the two men continued, culminating with the Dalai Lama essentially saying “They’re not with me anymore,” and breaking the connections.
There are quite a lot of detractors out there calling the NKT nothing more than a cult. They have a single charismatic leader, and they teach only his words. In the bookstores they operate, they sell only his books, and literally threw out all the books by other teachers and traditions. Questions and discussion are discouraged; openness is frowned upon. There are even “recovery groups” that have sprung up for people who have gotten out of the group. Nonetheless, they are still growing rapidly, and are quite successful financially. They seem to actually be doing some good.
Is it a cult? Is it a valid Tibetan splinter-group? I’m not going to get in the middle of this battle, but that’s the overview. Do your own research and post your thoughts below. Just to start you off, here’s a BBC documentary that will introduce you to the situation:

Daily Buddhism

Truth in Labeling

1 Comment

A reader writes:

I am not sure if this is the right place to send a question, but it is the only reference to questions I found on the website.

I am reading about Buddhism because I started to meditate after exercising in the morning and found that it brought the most amazing sense of peace to me throughout the day. I would like to maintain that peace and mindfulness throughout the day. I hesitate to call myself a Buddhist because I feel that I have a lot more self-reflection, studying, and meditating to do before I have the right to take on such an honorable label.

 My Response:

You chose your words well. Buddhism, as I mentioned Tuesday, is not some lofty goal to be aspired to. It’s just a label that we put on ourselves. There are millions of “Buddhists” out there that give Buddhism nearly no thought in their daily lives. Others take it all very seriously. Either path is fine, but they are all considered Buddhists… It’s just a label.

Don’t get hung up on labels, especially not if it’s going to hold you back from something. I told a story way, way back on the site about my time in Japan, and how most of the people I spoke to, when Buddhism came up, asked “What’s that?” When I explained the ideas, they invariably replied, “Oh that. I think that too.” There are many labels out there to classify, organize, and coordinate things, places, and people.

Labels are restricting. Labels are limiting. Labels are confining.

Labels are one of the main contributors to discrimination, prejudice, bullying, and intolerance in the world. Labels have their reasons, but don’t EVER tie yourself down to a label.

From your email, you sound like a Buddhist. Whether you are or are not, the only difference is in your mind.

Does it matter?

 

Daily Buddhism

Rioting Buddhists Clash With Muslims

2 Comments

A reader asks:

What is the Buddhist perspective on this

10 die as Buddhists, Muslims clash in Myanmar

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/21/world/asia/myanmar-clashes/index.html

My Response:

The world is a big place, and there are all sorts of situations. Sometimes these situations lead to violence. Nevertheless, you are right, these people aren’t acting in a particularly Buddhist fashion. Buddhists eschew violence in all forms.

So what’s going on here?

Just because someone identifies as a Buddhist (Or in the case of this article, we can say the say about Muslims) doesn’t mean that’s what they focus on to the exclusion of all else. Here in America, most people identify as some flavor of Christian. How many people who identify as Christians do things like steal, lie, cheat, judge, and other things that their own belief system condemns? Not all of them, but there definitely some. Believe me, Christians don’t have the monopoly on hypocrisy. Buddhism has its share as well, as do all the others.

Along the same lines, just because a person identifies as a Buddhist, that doesn’t instantly make them a devout monk. The vast majority of people in Eastern countries are born Buddhists, were raised to believe in the Buddhist traditions, and generally follow an appropriately Buddhist lifestyle there. But I repeat, they are not monks. They fight, go to war, cheat, steal, and do all the bad things people elsewhere do. It all depends on where their priorities lie.

Being Buddhist doesn’t preclude you from being human as well.

Daily Buddhism, Ethics

Rapidfire Questions Basic Buddhist Questions

1 Comment

Here’s an email that I received this morning. I get something similar every few months from someone taking a class somewhere. I’m not quite sure what the point of the assignment is, whether it’s to interview someone or to do actual research (this isn’t it!), but here are my answers.

Please add yours to the comments below, whether you agree with mine or not.

 

An Email asks:

I am researching the Buddhist religion for my World Religions class. I have many questions and was wondering if you could answer them. Your help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

What has made you believe so fully in your religion?
Does your religion have political problems surrounding it?
Do you believe in abortion, contraception, euthanasia, and divorce?
Were you born into this religion or did you convert?
What do you believe to be the most incorrect and misunderstood belief of Buddhism?
Is the number of Buddhists continuing to rise?
How do Buddhists view warfare in the world?

Thank you again!

My Response, one point at a time:

What has made you believe so fully in your religion?

It’s the only one that makes any kind of logical sense. To be totally honest, there is a lot to Buddhism that I don’t especially believe. I also consider myself an Atheist, but I suspect that will only confuse the issue

 

Does your religion have political problems surrounding it?

There’s a whole flood of ongoing turmoil concerning the Dalai Lama and Tibet, which impacts Tibetan Buddhists, but overall, no, Buddhism is not overly embroiled in political controversy.

 
Do you believe in abortion, contraception, euthanasia, and divorce?

Generally, Buddhists do not agree with these ideas. All cause suffering in one manner or another, and that’s the big thing to avoid in Buddhism.

 

Were you born into this religion or did you convert?

Like most American Buddhists, I converted away from something else

 

What do you believe to be the most incorrect and misunderstood belief of Buddhism?

The idea that Buddhists worship Buddha. I get that a lot. Buddha was just a guy with some good ideas.

 
Is the number of Buddhists continuing to rise?

Yes, but perhaps not as fast as more evangelistic religions.

 

How do Buddhists view warfare in the world?

If you want to be strict about the rules, then war and killing is wrong, no matter what the reason. It’s better to lie down and die than fight. In real-life practice, however, there is often fighting and war; Buddhists have to deal with it like everyone else.

 

Daily Buddhism

Appropriation and Commercialization of Buddhism in the West

1 Comment

A Reader Writes:

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the increasing ‘appropriation’ of Buddhism in the west.

I’ve been noticing that there are a number of people writing blogs who are accusing people of appropriation if they have, for example, ohm or Buddha tattoos or Buddhist jewelry. As someone who identifies as being Buddhist I am not offended by this and I do not understand why some people would feel the need to verbally attack others for exploring a different culture through art or fashion.

In fact I would go as far as to say that this is a very un-Buddhist thing to do.
Any thoughts, and have you noticed this at all?

Kanji
This means “I am Beautiful” in Chinese …right?

My Response:

I did a post on tattoos way back, and that still holds up pretty well. You can check that out, but as far as the Buddhist approach goes, I don’t see much wrong with having a tattoo.

I think what you are asking is whether or not as a Buddhist, do non-Buddhists wearing the symbols of Buddhism offend me? No, and I suspect most Buddhists will agree with me on that. Symbols and pictures are just things; nothing to get worked up about.

One thing I find personally annoying are people with Chinese Kanji symbols tattooed on them, when they don’t understand Chinese. The tattoo artist always tells them it means “Peace” or “Love,” or something nice like that. I always look at people and tell them with  a straight face that it means “Jackass.” Then I explain that I don’t speak Chinese either, and it could say anything. Sometimes I get a laugh, sometimes I don’t.  Still though, getting something you don’t understand tattooed on you seems like a risky proposition. Getting a Buddha or a eight-spoked wheel or a Lotus tattooed on you if you don’t really know what they mean could be risky too.

Now, from a not-especially-Buddhist-but-still-common-sense point of view:

Let’s go into hypotheticals for a moment. You get a tattoo of a Buddha on your arm. It’s pretty cool huh? Then ten years down the road, you want to marry a girl/guy who is a Christian or Muslim.  That’s going to be an issue. Maybe you’ll even want to (gasp!) convert to one of those faiths yourself.  Now you’ve got a problem. Maybe you say that would never happen; OK, but could you have a Christian or Muslim supervisor at work? Friends? Seems like a definite possibility.

This kind of situation may be exactly the cause of the “attacks” you mention in your question. People fear what is different, and, at least in the USA< Buddhism is one of those “others” for many people.

(And for the record, I have no idea what that Kanji means. Hopefully it’s not something too nasty.)

 

Daily Buddhism

Depersonalization and Anatman

2 Comments

A reader asks:

How does the feelings of depersonalization tie in to the Buddhist philosophy?

DP briefly described is the feeling that the world is unreal and that the self is disconnected from this world which seems foreign. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

I’m trying to tie it in to the concept that we are all one, and that the world is less illusionary in this state.

I’ve heard it described as the evil twin of enlightenment because there is a strong feeling of consciousness and awareness.

People who’ve experienced this condition often have anxiety issues, as I have. But I think that this anxiety and the altered perception is more indicative of something that Buddhism could explain better. I’m only just learning about Buddhism.

My Response:

 

According to the Wikipedia article you pointed to, depersonalization is seen as a treatable psychological disorder. In many ways, seeing the physical world as “unreal” is one of the goals of Buddhist meditation. Buddhism would be fine with seeing the external world as an “other.” That being said, the part where you are real is the issue. “You” are not real either.

 

Buddhists call this idea of there being no-self Anatman, and it was introduced here. The basic idea is that I am not my body. I am not sitting on this chair, typing at this desk. We are all interconnected. I am the desk. I am the chair. I don’t know where you are right now, but you and I are connected as well. I am you.

 

Scientifically, if you get down to the point where molecules fly around and quantum mechanics happen, this is even more true; we really are all interconnected. The jury may still be out on whether or not our consciousnesses (if there is such a thing as consciousness) are linked, but there is a relationship with the physical world. These are difficult concepts, and it’s likely that others will disagree with my explanation; the comment section below is for those comments!

 

I’m not sure that I have any kind of enlightened advice for you with this situation. You might need to meditate for a long while on how this concept relates to you. As Wikipedia said, there are medical treatments; whether or not you want to try those is not for me to say, but that is an option.