A reader wrote:

I’ve been studying Buddhism and meditating.  A Christian friend (7th-Day Adventist) told me that quoting Buddha on Facebook is evil because he has a hole in his back that they put evil spirits into.  Has anyone else ever heard this ridiculous belief?  I just don’t know how to respond to her because I’m new to all of this, and I don’t want to offend her.  I didn’t answer her at all.  Maybe that’s best anyway.

My Response:

Wow. That’s a new one to me. Never heard that before.

It’s got the ring of truth to it, so I wouldn’t say there’s absolutely nothing to it. I suspect there’s probably some group out there that has some tradition or ceremony where they write down their troubles on a note and drop them into a hole in his back. I can imagine that being a tradition somewhere, sure. Is it an accepted thing among Buddhists in General? No, of course not. There’s not a thing I have ever seen in any historical text that comes anywhere close to this story.

It’s probably similar to a non-Christian assuming that all Christians handle snakes. Yes, some do it, but it’s absolutely not typical. This is probably the way I’d try to explain it to your friend. The world is a big place, it’s dangerous to make assumptions and generalizations.

A reader wrote in:

Buddhism has helped me find my path from and out of suffering. Recently I joined a Mayahana temple, I would like to know, can I stop by any temple daytime to meditate in the temple hall, or just bow? What are usually the norms, because I would like to stop by and meditate and respect the Buddha for 20 minutes after my work day, as it is on my way home, and the atmosphere would further my daily path.

I would like to know really, what are the “during the day” procedures for most temples. And what as a patron are you expected to generally follow, and what are the traditions for burning incense for example.

I found out that before entering the big hall with the Buddhas you ned to take off your shoes, you need to remain as silent as possible while in the temple, Etc.

This would be of some interest to beginners I believe.

Wishing you peace and wisdom.

My Response:

The problem with this topic is that every temple has different rules.  I could tell you about the temples around here, but they certainly won’t be the same where you live. Your best bet is to simply give them a call and ask what hours they are open. Some temples and centers in America are not very busy and may have very limited hours, while others are thriving and open 24/7… it just depends on them.

The ones here in Dayton, for example, are only open a few hours on Saturday and Sunday, while they are closed throughout the week except for special events. I suspect this is the norm unless you are in a very large or very diverse city.

Good luck

A reader write in and asked:

First of all, I’d like to thank you for the wisdom and honesty you show your listeners with answering all these questions and giving insight into the fundamentals of Buddhism. I am relatively new to Buddhism, mediation (and yoga), so you podcasts and articles are very welcome indeed. With the growing audience you probably have received a question like mine before, but I’ll give a try nevertheless.

Right now I am going through a difficult time as a result of the breakup of my relationship. You can say that by attaching too much to my loved one, I face a lot of suffering now that the relationship is over. I am wondering how to find a good way to love someone with all your heart and soul (girlfriend and stepchild in my case) but not to get too much attached. I know that Buddhism won’t tell you not to love anyone but have you or other people thoughts to help me with this dilemma?

My Response:

You say you are suffering, and that’s always bad, but it’s normal and to be expected during a time of loss, even for a Buddhist.

You are absolutely right that there is a little bit of a conflict there. You aren’t supposed to get too attached to people or things, yet you are allowed (strongly encouraged even) to love others. Buddhists believe that the problem is not the attachment to others in itself, the problem is grasping too hard to hold on to these things, and suffering over the fear that you will lose them.

Death, divorce, breakups, or even just growing apart, happen to couples all the time. Sooner or later all relationships come to an end, and most of those endings will be painful to some extent. What can you do? Expect it. Plan for it. Don’t become attached to the idea that you can control it or stop it; you can’t. Sometimes you can hold back a breakup or keep the relationship going with effort, but even then, sooner or later, you will be parted. Know this, and when the time comes, accept it. After the separation comes, don’t dwell on it or become attached to the way things used to be. Look to the future; look to new relationships.

A reader writes:

First of all: thank you for the podcast and website.  It has been extremely educational.

I am very new to Buddhism, I don’t really consider myself a Buddhist yet, but I am soaking up all the ideas like a curious child.  I came drawn to it through the desire to practice meditation and naturally started doing my research.

My question is this:  I know now that it is Buddhist practice to refrain from alcohol and drugs in order to keep a clear mind and so as not to do harm to others, but in the past I have taken mind altering substances such as magic mushrooms, and feel they have opened up my mind and allowed me to look at things from a more spiritual point of view.  Many cultures in the world embrace various “teacher plants” as a path towards spiritual enlightenment.  I honestly feel that some of the revelations I’ve had while on mushrooms have taught me some of the truths of Buddhism before I even heard of them as such.  How can something so spiritually powerful be a negative thing to one’s enlightenment and education?

Thanks so much

My Response:

Because it’s not real. The prohibition against alcohol and drugs are not solely for the purpose of avoiding doing harm to others as you say; they are there because they cloud your judgement and make meditation more difficult. Those other cultures that you speak of don’t place the same emphasis on meditation and reaching Enlightenment as Buddhism does.

A Buddhist wants a clear mind (Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration) and one of the goals of all that meditation is to learn mental control and achieve mental clarity. You cannot reach that state artificially; it might seem like a good idea, but it’s not.

Some kinds of drugs lead to addiction. I shouldn’t have to point out the problems with that kind of attachment. Another point to consider is long-term effects and flashbacks. I’m no doctor, but I have heard that drugs such as LSD can cause flashbacks and hallucinations years after ingestion. That kind of lack of self-control is not something with which a Buddhist would want to deal.

I’m curious as to what those revelations were about, drop me a note!

A reader writes:

I have been living in China for three years now. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and Non-denominational Religions and do not believe in the whole deity being god thing.  Not that I do not believe in the concept of a divine creator but something is out there. So I am in China and visit the temples, take photos and stuff and have become interested in the philosophy.  Am I correct that Buddha is not a God? Buddhism is a philosophy?

I have read a few web pages and see this may be a way to help me curb my anger issues; my anger manifests as frustration. Why frustration?  Because I am trying to find out information and others do not understand or I do not understand. So why the anger?  Because I did not step back to figure out with Understanding or Enlightenment.  I did not know what the real issue was to start with, that it was me not understanding all the variables  of communication, others not understanding, and so on. So am I on the right path of choices to understanding to go forward?

My Response:

There are a couple of different questions here. First, Buddha is no god, just a very smart/wise man who lived around 2,500 years ago. He came up with a few very simple, yet profound ideas that some call a philosophy, and others do, in fact, treat as a very elaborate religion. You can go either way with it. Read more about Buddha and these ideas here on the site, or download the 60+ episodes of the podcast and start from the beginning. (There’s also a book, which I’m trying very hard not to mention in every single post, but it’s called “The Five-Minute Buddhist” written by me and is available at the link above).

It sounds like you’ve given the second part of your question a great deal of thought. Yes, anger does often come from frustration, and frustration can come from miscommunication, inability to express oneself, and simply not knowing things you are expected to know by their society. After living in Japan for a time, I know well how frustrating it can be.

Meditation can help with anger issues, regardless of the cause. Also, as you say, simply understanding the root causes of the frustration can help. You know now that the anger comes from not understanding, and the best way to resolve that anger is by learning. Realizing how much you don’t know, and making positive strides to learn can make all the difference. To answer your final question, yes, it sounds like you are indeed on the right path now.