Dependent Origination

Remember that everything is impermanent and subject to eventual change. What seems to exist today will be dust in a few years, and was probably something else in the past. For example, look at the table or desk in front of you. What is it? You should probably answer, ‚ÄúIt’s a table.‚Äù

But what is that table? It’s wood, metal, glue, paint, and so on. The molecules of wood are complex, but include a large amount of space; if you take the amount of space inside those molecules as an indicator, the table in front of you is mostly nothing.

The wood from that table used to be one or more trees. Those trees were part of a forest. The forest was made by sunshine, rain, dead animals remains and droppings. What about the carpenter who made the table? His life, dreams, work, education, and his entire history went into his being at the right place at the right time to build that table. What went into making the carpenter? His ancestors, all the food he ever ate, his education, emotions, karma and life history. What about all the people that influenced the carpenter? When it comes right down to it, that table is the entire universe.

You are that table, and that table is you. There is no individual self, we all depend on everything else in order to be created and survive.

“I am you and your are me and we are all together” — The Beatles

And yes, that’s probably the only Beatles quotation you’ll ever see me use.

No-Self

Who are you? Who am I?

Are you the same person you were five minutes ago? Five seconds ago? Who will you be tomorrow?

Would you believe me if I told you there is no you at all? This is the Buddhist idea of anatman, or no-self.
Buddha himself said, “form is not the soul, sensations are not the soul, perceptions are not the soul, assemblages are not the soul, consciousness is not the soul. Seeing thusly, this is the end of birth, the Brahman life has been fulfilled, what must be done has been done.”

This has been built upon over the ages to to mean in modern times that our attachment to ourselves, physically, spiritually, and so forth is one major cause of conflict and suffering. If one can only realize that there is actually no self at all, these problems can be overcome. All ideas of “self” are based on ignorance of the true nature of the universe.
This idea is also a big part of dependent origination, which we will cover tomorrow.

This is one of the most complex and difficult of all subjects in Buddhism. If you’d like to discuss the topic, leave your comment below.

Namaste!
“I bow to the Divine in You”

This is a common greeting in India, Nepal and Tibet, and is a traditional greeting in many other places a well. Generally it is said with both hands placed together in front of the chest, palms together accompanied by a slight bow. For even deeper respect, the same is done, but with the hands in front of the forehead.

The placing together of hands is what is usually called a mudra, a symbolic placement of the hands that has special traditional meaning. We’ll talk more about these another time, but in this case, one hand represents your divine spiritual nature, while the other hand symbolizes the worldly self. By combining the two, you can see the two halves of the person, as well as the representation that there is a link between you and the other person; we are all connected. But more on that idea tomorrow.

Dealing With The Family

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A Reader recently wrote:
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I’ve been a Buddhist for the last 3 years or so after a mentor introduced me to meditation and I started getting more insight on my life. Since then my life has improved about 400% (in ways that I cannot explain) and making it my practice has been a great journey. I have every intention in continuing my practice for the rest of my life and will do so.

I’ve come from a family background that is primarily Catholic. Since I am young and in college I’ve only discussed my decision to be a Buddhist with people who fully support and trust my decisions – mainly my mother and good friends. The rest of my family however isn’t accepting to anything that isn’t based in Christianity and I know that the day will come when I will have to admit that I don’t associate myself with Christianity like they do.

I wanted to know if you had any advice on how to mentally deal with this situation. I know I will be fine and I need to stick to what I am passionate about, but I know I will get some resistance from certain members of my family. How do I deal with this when the time comes?

I know with confidence and meditation I will be fine, but I’m simply looking for some words of wisdom.

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And my response:
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I think what you describe is a common situation here in the West, especially in the USA. Although the government is required to be religiously tolerant, that doesn’t mean our families have to be. Sometimes families, in their eagerness to ‚Äúhelp‚Äù us, cause no end to additional suffering, especially when there is a disagreement over something so personal and individually important as our beliefs.

I have the same problem. My closest family knows about my Buddhism, but with my aunt, uncles, cousins, and other extended family, it’s never really come up, although I expect that it will eventually. In my case, however, none of my family is really what I would call overly zealous about religion. They probably wouldn’t understand my choice, but they wouldn’t go to any effort to try and change my mind.

Not everyone is so lucky. Many religions, not just Christians, go about things with the “We are right and everything else is wrong” approach to other faiths. Some people will go to any lengths to change your thinking, and that can only lead to conflict.

I would suggest the best approach is to make sure your family sees you acting in the finest traditions of Buddhism (without necessarily advertising the fact). They’ll see and experience you as a good person, doing good in the world, alleviating suffering where and when you can. Be an exemplar of the best ‚ÄúChristian values,‚Äù and when your ‚Äúshocking secret‚Äù eventually comes to light, perhaps, just perhaps, they’ll be willing to talk rather than judge you out of hand.

I’m sure plenty of readers have experienced this themselves. I would love to hear and share your stories about reactions of your family or friends to your Buddhism.

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A Reader recently wrote:

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What are Buddhist weddings like?

I’ve been raised in a Christian home, so I’ve been taught the traditional wedding..white dress, reception, exchanging of vows, etc.

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And my response:

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There is no special “Buddhist Wedding Ceremony” from ancient times; usually it depends on the country and culture that the couple is from. VERY generally speaking, usually only family or very close friends are invited and the ceremonies are predictably very simple. There are usually vows of some sort, and the ceremony is presided over by a priest.

Beyond this very basic and sketchy outline, it’s all different depending on the ‚Äúdenomination‚Äù of Buddhism and the nationality of the people and families involved.

I have posted a few wedding photos from various groups: