Tag Archives: learning

Daily Buddhism, Ethics

Raising Buddhist Children

1 Comment

A reader recently wrote:

Hi Brian,

Glad to see the blog posts are back up. I’m eagerly awaiting new podcasts. Wished your book was an audio book.

I’m emailing today to ask: how do you raise my 5 year old buddhist? I think he’ll benefit tremendously from meditation and his mind hasn’t been packed with my family’s Catholic tradition. When do you get a kid started? How do I start him?

Thanks again for all your work on the website.

My Response:

First, I should point out that The Five-Minute Buddhist’s Buddhism Quick Start Guide is available as an audio book, as well as paperback or eBook for all major platforms. The big books may be coming someday, but there’s no schedule for that yet.

Now on to your real question. I don’t have any children, but have taken a bit of time to think through this. Hopefully, we’ll get some advice from someone with experience in the comments below the post.

I don’t know if there is an especially good time to “start” a child on Buddhism other than right now, as soon as you decide that you want your child to learn about it. The best way to “get into” any religion is to simply live with it from day to day. Let your child see you meditate, and hopefully, they’ll want to join in if they see mommy or daddy doing it.

I remember at that age, my grandparents gave me at least one big book of Bible stories, and I know I really enjoyed that book, not realizing that I was being indoctrinated as well. It’s not subtle, but storybooks not only help teach your child to read, but also instill whatever values and lessons are inside those stories. After a quick search on Amazon, here are a few that I found that look promising:

All four of those are very highly rated, but there are dozens of similar titles available.

Another thing to consider is whether or not you want to indoctrinate (that’s an ugly word) your child into Buddhism, or allow them to make their own choices like you did. I don’t know what your path to choosing/accepting Buddhism was, but if you’re like most Westerners, you came here from some other religious background. You may want to simply live your life as a Buddhist and be a good example for your children without pushing them either way. That’s up to you, but it’s a point to be considered.

There are a lot of opinions on this. The topic has come up before here {LINK} in relation to discipline, but the comments after the post are definitely worth reading.

If you have an opinion or advice on children and Buddhist parenting, please post it in the comments or email me.

 

Daily Buddhism, Ethics

Buddhist Helpers

2 Comments
Buddha Tech Support
Buddha Tech Support

Buddhist Helpers

A Reader writes:

Do Buddhist monks work on an individual case-by-case basis with lay Buddhists who seek advise on a specific problem in their lives and then offer a diagnosis and prescription in, of course, Buddhist terms? Or are the 4 noble truths, 8 fold path, 5 precepts, etc., always to be generically self-prescribed? I suppose this question arises from vestiges of Catholic confession, the psychoanalytic model, and just a plain old desire for commiseration.

My Response:

It depends. Monks and monasteries vary a lot depending on denomination, leadership, community involvement, etc. Some don't interact much with the lay community, while others are a central part of it.

I suspect very few monks would turn down a request for help if it were made.

Keeping that in mind, you mention Catholicism. Catholic priests undergo MANY years of training in working with the community. They take courses in counseling, psychology, social work, etc. They are heavily educated in these areas. Many high-ranking Buddhists, on the other hand, have very little formal education. What I'm saying is that most Buddhists would be willing to help you, but they are sometimes limited in their real-world applications of Buddhism outside the monastery.

I'd like to hear about others' experiences with this. Anyone have any really good stories of Buddhist Helps? About bad stories/disasters?

Another answer to your question is that I seem to do it all the time; what can I help you with? 🙂

 

 

Daily Buddhism

Starting Buddhist Practice … How?

2 Comments

A Reader Asks:

I grew up in the United States in a Christian-Baptist household. I always felt that this was not right for me, and formally denounced this faith as I embarked on my journey into adulthood. Lacking any faith whatsoever, I spent time researching ‚Äúreligion‚Äù as a whole and found many concepts from Buddhism that I could agree with. I was fortunate at one point, to form a relationship with a Japanese woman who convinced me to make a trip back to Japan with her. Once in Nagoya, her family introduced me to Nichiren Buddhism, though I’m unsure of the particular ‚Äúorder‚Äù of Nichiren that I was being exposed to. This didn’t really ‚Äúsink in‚Äù and, after returning to the United States, I lost my desire to focus on this study. I have recently decided to begin this study once again, and primarily have Nichiren Buddhism as a background to begin the study. I located a Nichiren Shu temple close to where I live, attended the Sunday morning service last week, and also plan to visit this service again this week. I have little knowledge of many other denominations, but learned the primary difference between Nichiren Shu and the Soka Gakkai last week. That is the difference of Nichiren Daishonin being the eternal Buddha vs. being a mere messenger of Shakyamuni.

I’ve begun reading books on Buddhism and have learned of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. These I agree with completely. One thing that I have determined is that this will be a ‚Äúlife(lives)-long‚Äù process, but I’m unsure of what’s acceptable for me to properly begin this study. For instance, I’ve read that praying is disrespectful without the use of a mala (juzu); that it is like grabbing the Buddha with bare hands. There are so many types of juzu, one I ordered from the Soka Gakkai, but am unsure still if this is right for Nichiren Shu. The bigger question (that I apologize for it taking so long for me to ask) is how do I know what is right for me to begin this journey? Am I being disrespectful by attending this service without knowing how to ‚Äúpractice‚Äù?

Answer:

You say you are in NC, so I assume that this temple is going to be familiar with Americans, and they will realize that you probably have no idea what the rituals are. As far as what is or is not respectful, that’s purely a cultural thing. In Japan, it’s often appropriate to bow to people you meet; here it isn’t. Many of the things you saw in Japan won’t apply here in the USA (unless the temple is run primarily by and for Japanese people). Although it’s simple good manners to learn how the people at your local temple do things, if you mess something up, you are not going to personally offend the Buddha. If you are unsure how to act or what to do in the local temple, then sit in the back and just observe the first few times. Phone ahead and ask if they have a beginner’s level class you can take. If not, then stay respectful and follow along as best you can; it’s no different than a Baptist visiting a Catholic church for the first time; you just have to “play along” until you understand the significance of the rituals, probably doing a lot of Googling after each visit. You have to go in order to learn; you can read books for years and not understand as well as you could with a single real-life visit.

Now that being said, you will need to decide if this is the denomination you want. This can be hard to do in America, where you may or may not even have a choice in the matter. Some cities may have only one temple, while others aren’t even that lucky. Remember that the Path to Enlightenment is mostly an individual thing. The only one who will get you to Nirvana is YOU. YOU need to do whatever works best for you. Maybe that’s by following every word laid down by Nichiren, or Dogen, or Bodhidarma, or the Dalai Lama, or some other teacher. Maybe it’s some American combination of various Eastern schools of thought.

The way you describe this sect of Nichiren, it sounds like the distinction between them is whether or not Nichiren was a reincarnation of “The” Buddha or not. My question is simply, “who cares?” Take what Nichiren said and weigh it in your mind and decide if what he said strikes you as useful. Note that I said useful, not believable, realistic, true, or respectful. Buddhism is a practice, the beliefs and rituals are secondary. Do what WORKS. Believe in what WORKS. Take to heart the words that are most useful to YOU. There’s a lot to be said for finding the right teacher and following him all the way, but that’s not easy in the west. Most of us have to take bits and pieces pf what we need from several groups unless we just happen find one that fits our personality and needs exactly.

Good luck!