Tag Archives: respect

Buddha Salt, Buddha Beer, and Christ’s Corn Chips: Are We Offended Yet?

Someone (I suspect it wasn’t actually a reader) wrote this to me:

2205571Dear Sir/Madam,

As we go to the grocery stores and  kitchens,  we may see “Buddha Salt” by www.buddhasalt.com.

We think it is a great disrespect to use Buddha as a commercial brand. We also feel that it is not good to use Jesus as a brand. Neither Bush salt, nor Obama salt. Himalaya would be already famous enough for a brand, why not use that, or some other brand? Such an abuse should be a great religious hurt to Buddhism and Buddhists. We thus protest and  please transfer this email to people as many as possible, who support us or have normal consciousness for religion.  Let it be clear that the holy religion is not commercial, not for the money.

Buddha is to give wisdom;  Buddhism is to benefit the world, but not to earn money, especially for individual companies.

My response:

I was in a local Chinese restaurant last week, and they had this big sign up for “Lucky Buddha Beer.” I don’t drink beer, and I don’t even much care for it, but you know what? I bought a bottle because it looked neat. The green bottle was a Buddha (Hotei actually, not Buddha, but it’s essentially the same over here), and now it’s sitting on my shelf. I don’t have any idea whether their beer is any good or not, it was Buddha who sold that beer.

6a013486d9362c970c016761745899970b-800wiThere is a certain level of tastelessness to this situation. I’ve never seen “Christ’s Corn Chips” or “Jesus Jambalaya,” and the reason is pretty simple; it would offend people. I can see and understand that. Jesus, after all, is said to be the son of God, or God himself, however you choose to interpret it, and is therefore worthy of more respect than a normal person. That’s from the Christian perspective of course, but here in America, that’s the predominant point of view, and marketing companies know it. Christians tend to take God and Jesus very seriously, and that’s OK because it’s part of their belief system.

Buddha and Buddhism, on the other hand, is not the same thing. Buddha was a great man and worthy of our respect as well, but he was just a man– At least in the beginning and depending on which Buddhist group you adhere to, but my point is that he’s not a god. Did he do great things, and is he worthy of a LOT of respect? Absolutely. But getting too carried away with that respect can be counterproductive to Buddhism.

The writer of the note claims that “Such an abuse should be a great religious hurt to Buddhism and Buddhists.” and I have to ask “Why?” The simple fact that you are “offended” by this, or “offended” by anything probably indicates that you have too much of an attachment towards some idea, and that is clearly a bad thing. I don’t know if Buddha would personally object to his image being used commercially or not, but I am pretty sure he’d object to your being offended by it. Your being offended hurts YOU, not the Buddha or Buddhism as a whole. The only one you are hurting here is yourself with your overattachment to this ideal.

My advice: Lighten up– There are more important things to be offended by and/or fight for.

Buddhist Parenting and Discipline

posnoQuestion

Hi, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy the Daily Buddhism. I have recently taken my dedication to Buddhism seriously. But sadly, I am having a hard time bringing it to my parenting particularly with discipline. I can hug, hold, listen etc. with 100% of my being but I am still struggling with disciplining my children in a “KIND” way. I was wondering if you could help me with this?

Any info would be of great help.

Answer

First, let me point out that I am not a parent, so this is an entirely unqualified opinion on the subject– take all that follows with a skeptical grain of salt.

I’m not a parent, but do babysit my niece and nephew fairly often. My niece is calm and quiet and she hangs on my every word, eager to please. My nephew, however, lives in his own little world, quite often babbling so much that even he doesn’t know what he’s saying or doing; it’s very hard to get his attention sometimes without yelling. I often feel bad about yelling, even though I know full well that there’s no other way to get his attention. I’d never dream of hitting him, but I often feel bad about just raising my voice. I can certainly imagine what it must be like dealing with this kind of thing on a daily basis.

tantrumsDiscipline has its place, but you already know that. The problem is that with discipline of any kind, the child cries, pouts, or otherwise displays ‚Äúhurt.‚Äù We feel bad because we have ‚Äúhurt‚Äù the child. I don’t mean physical hurting, I mean displeasure at not getting their way or maybe shame/guilt at being reprimanded. Yet, even with something like a time-out, standing in the corner, or losing a toy for the day, the crying begins.

mother-child-discipline-smallIs that a bad thing? You are in fact creating suffering for the child. Surely that cannot be a good thing. On the other hand, think of the alternative to proper discipline. We’ve all been in stores and seen someone else’s little monsters acting up while their parents ignore them; we comment that ‚Äúmy child would never act like that.‚Äù Why wouldn’t your children act like that? Discipline. Eventually, children learn social rules and will behave appropriately on their own, but is that the case for very young children? No. Children are in many ways, “primitive.” They understand fear. Fear of what disobeying means. Fear (and in a Buddhist sense, suffering) can be a valuable learning tool. We learn not to do those things which cause suffering.

Again, I am one of those pacifist people who absolutely advocates not hitting, beating, slapping, or anything like that, but I do believe that children need to fear discipline, or they have no reason to obey. I’m talking about young children, maybe ages 3-7. Beyond that point, they should be able to behave on their own, but even then, they are about to make the occasional mistake. Although terrorizing your children isn’t going to be productive, a bit of healthy fear (maybe respect is a better word) is going to help them learn, and is, in the long run, a good thing.

You state in your question that you want to do ‚Äúkind‚Äù discipline, which I am interpreting to be ‚Äúdiscipline without the tears.‚Äù I’m not sure that there is such a thing. Discipline is always going to go against the child’s wishes, and that’s always going to result in tears and “suffering.”

I hope that some kind reader who is also a parent will chime in here and offer some advice from experience!
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Book: Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0786883146/?tag=askdrarca-20

Book: Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1741140102/?tag=askdrarca-20
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