Tag Archives: sex

Daily Buddhism

A Sensitive Topic

33 Comments

Disclaimer: A Sexual topic follows. Please don’t read further if you are likely to be offended or think the topic is inappropriate. I debated the appropriateness of the topic, and came to the conclusion that others are probably wondering the same thing. So here goes:

Question:

I am a male who wishes to kick a long habit of masturbation. My efforts have resulted in cutting down from daily to weekly. Still, the habit continues. I find I am most vulnerable to fall into the act when my I am not fully conscious, i.e. when I am going to sleep or upon waking up.

What would you suggest to prevent my thoughts from becoming lustful and for kicking my undesirable habit altogether.

Answer:

I am going to start off by asking you why is it undesirable? Believe it or not, Buddhism doesn’t condemn masturbation, unless you’re a monk, which I doubt is the case.

The physical aspect of masturbation is harmless. That being said, that may not be the case where karma is concerned. Desire (more specifically in this case, lust), as the Four Noble Truths tell us, leads to suffering. A Buddhist’s main desire is to eliminate suffering.

This is a very debatable topic, and I hope someone will address it in the comment section below, but in my opinion, the real question is what goes on in your mind while you’re doing it. If you can do it without lust, then my Buddhist answer would be to go ahead with it.

Actually, the way you word your question, I wonder if it might not fall into line with some of the “addiction” treatments out there. Addictions are a very harmful form of attachment, which Buddhists are very much against. Perhaps a look at the 12-Step Buddhist site covered last week would help. http://www.the12stepbuddhist.com There are undoubtedly many sexual addiction websites out there as well.

Couldn't resist just ONE joke
Couldn't resist just ONE joke

As far as breaking the habit is concerned (if you still want to break the habit), I don’t really have any advice that can’t be found elsewhere, and if I tried to make something up, it would just sound silly.

I guess the most important advice I can give is that as long as you can control the lust or try to eliminate it while masturbating, there really isn’t anything terribly wrong with doing it.

I’m not sure if this answer is adequate, so let me know if there is any more I can clarify or add. I absolutely invite comments on this post, as I am sure this is a much-debated topic.

Daily Buddhism

Buddhism and Homosexuality

9 Comments

Question:

What is the view on Homosexuality and Buddhism? Is it condemned or accepted or just something they don’t want to talk about? Hope your nor offended by me asking you to answer this topic.

Answer:

Offended? Nope. Actually, I’m surprised no one asked before the election. As you might imagine, opinions are all over the place on this topic.

First of all, the monks:

Monks living within a monastery are expected to be celibate. That means both men and women and partners of any kind. No sex. Period. There is no distinction between regular heterosexual sex and homosexuality. It’s all bad. That being said, over a 2500-year history, there have been plenty of exceptions and behind-the-scenes stories that scholars speculate upon.

Next, for laypeople:

We are supposed to follow the five precepts, which includes the promise not to engage in sexual misconduct. What exactly is sexual misconduct?

(from religionfacts.com see source links below):

Right and wrong behavior in Buddhism is generally determined by considerations such as the following:

* Universalibility principle – “How would I like it if someone did this to me?”
* Consequences – Does the act causes harm and regret (in oneself or others) or benefit and joy?
* Utilitarian principle – Will the act help or harm the attainment of goals (ultimately spiritual liberation)?
* Intention – Is the act motivated by love, generosity and understanding?

“Sexual misconduct” has thus traditionally been interpreted to include actions like coercive sex, sexual harassment, child molestation and adultery. As Homosexuality is not explicitly mentioned in any of the Buddha’s sayings recorded in the Pali Canon (Tripitaka), most interpreters have taken this to mean that homosexuality should be evaluated in the same way as heterosexuality, in accordance with the above principles.

The above seems to point to the acceptability of homosexuality. There are plenty of opposition opinions on this, and there are even some important people who don’t seem fully committed either way. The Dalai Lama, for one, commented, “the purpose of sex in general is for procreation, so homosexual acts do seem a bit unnatural.‚Äù He said, “sexual desires in themselves are natural, perhaps including homosexual desires, but that one should not try to increase those desires or indulge them without self-control.‚Äù He added, “From a Buddhist point of view, [gay sex] is generally considered sexual misconduct.” But he did note that this rule is for Buddhists, and from society’s viewpoint, homosexual relationships can be “of mutual benefit, enjoyable, and harmless.” His spokesman has added, “His Holiness opposes violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation. He urges respect, tolerance, compassion, and the full recognition of human rights for all.”

The bottom line is that there really isn’t an answer. Some schools of Buddhism are more or less accepting of it, but there is no single across-the-board answer. Overall, Buddhism is more accepting of gays than most of the other “big” religions. My own point of view is that consensual sexual activity by a committed couple, whether engaged in by a heterosexual or homosexual couple, is not sexual misconduct, and this is a point of view shared by many others. It really all hinges upon whether or not harm is being done and the motivations behind the relationship, and the same goes for heterosexual relationships for that matter!

Here are a few sites that discuss the issue more fully. I have quoted from a few them above.
http://www.religionfacts.com/homosexuality/buddhism.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_budd.htm
http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/7-18-2004-56791.asp

Daily Buddhism, Meditation

Other Forms of Meditation

Other Forms of Meditation

Today we wrap up the mega-series on meditation by mentioning a few other forms of meditation. There are probably others that I haven’t thought of, as there are limitless ways to meditate, and unlimited numbers of subjects to contemplate.

Who Am I? – Self-study meditation to eliminate all false ideas of self.

Meditation via Prayer – Basically what it sounds like.

Thought Power – Self-hypnosis, positive thinking, laws of attraction, etc.

Emotional Meditation – Like yesterday’s loving kindness in practice, but substituting thoughts of sadness, giving, graciousness, surrender, and forgiveness.

Yoga – while practicing yoga, one is meant to be aware of all parts of the body and the movements of those parts. Consciousness of the breath is also heavily stressed in Yoga.

Martial Arts – Often stresses the life force, the body, the mind, the breath, and the concept of oneness.

Sex – Tantric sex requires mental and physical discipline as well as most of the same benefits of Yoga.

Whichever form(s) of meditation you choose, you will enjoy lowered levels of stress, and possibly increased physical health as well. These are documented, scientific benefits of meditating regularly.
In addition, of course, are the spiritual, psychological, and karmic benefits to meditation, which are a bit more subjective, but most practitioners give these heavy value as well.

It’s easy‚Ķ Just sit.

That’s all I have for you on meditation for the moment. I suspect you have questions about meditation, which I’d love to cover before moving on to another topic. Send in your questions by email at dailybuddhism@gmail.com or phone them in at 937-660-4949. I don’t have anything special planned for next week yet, so now is a great time for questions, meditation-related or otherwise.