Tag Archives: teaching

Daily Buddhism, Ethics

Raising Buddhist Children

1 Comment

A reader recently wrote:

Hi Brian,

Glad to see the blog posts are back up. I’m eagerly awaiting new podcasts. Wished your book was an audio book.

I’m emailing today to ask: how do you raise my 5 year old buddhist? I think he’ll benefit tremendously from meditation and his mind hasn’t been packed with my family’s Catholic tradition. When do you get a kid started? How do I start him?

Thanks again for all your work on the website.

My Response:

First, I should point out that The Five-Minute Buddhist’s Buddhism Quick Start Guide is available as an audio book, as well as paperback or eBook for all major platforms. The big books may be coming someday, but there’s no schedule for that yet.

Now on to your real question. I don’t have any children, but have taken a bit of time to think through this. Hopefully, we’ll get some advice from someone with experience in the comments below the post.

I don’t know if there is an especially good time to “start” a child on Buddhism other than right now, as soon as you decide that you want your child to learn about it. The best way to “get into” any religion is to simply live with it from day to day. Let your child see you meditate, and hopefully, they’ll want to join in if they see mommy or daddy doing it.

I remember at that age, my grandparents gave me at least one big book of Bible stories, and I know I really enjoyed that book, not realizing that I was being indoctrinated as well. It’s not subtle, but storybooks not only help teach your child to read, but also instill whatever values and lessons are inside those stories. After a quick search on Amazon, here are a few that I found that look promising:

All four of those are very highly rated, but there are dozens of similar titles available.

Another thing to consider is whether or not you want to indoctrinate (that’s an ugly word) your child into Buddhism, or allow them to make their own choices like you did. I don’t know what your path to choosing/accepting Buddhism was, but if you’re like most Westerners, you came here from some other religious background. You may want to simply live your life as a Buddhist and be a good example for your children without pushing them either way. That’s up to you, but it’s a point to be considered.

There are a lot of opinions on this. The topic has come up before here {LINK} in relation to discipline, but the comments after the post are definitely worth reading.

If you have an opinion or advice on children and Buddhist parenting, please post it in the comments or email me.

 

Daily Buddhism

When The Student Is Ready, The Teacher Will Arrive

2 Comments

A Reader Wrote:

Hello Brian,  I am married to a wonderful lady and it really bothers me to see her suffering over small things that I once suffered from.

Just this morning, we bounced a check and it was like we were going to be on skid row.

I try to share certain things with her without trying to cram it down her throat. I recall reading…”When the student is ready the teacher will arrive.”  Also, I know that I’m not alone when it comes to wanting to share the  methods that helped relieve some of my suffering. Sometimes I wonder (darn thinking!  LOL) what it would be like if she sought the same types of things and understood that there is a way to enjoy our time here.

Acceptance, patience, being still and quiet are the things that seem to help me for now. If I’m missing something, or you have a tip for me, I would appreciate it.

My Response:

You quoted, “When the student is ready the teacher will arrive,” which is true.

Someone else who wasn’t Buddha, once said, “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink.”

The problem with the situation you are describing is that the student isn’t ready. You say acceptance, patience, and being still have helped you. They’ve certainly helped me over the years as well. Some people, on the other hand, are just less passive, always feeling the need to “act.” I’m not saying there’s anything intrinsically wrong with that. I believe the psychologists when they say there are “Type A” and “Type B” personalities. Type B’s are much more passive, calm, and predisposed towards the quieter ideals of Buddhism.  Type A people can do Buddhism too, of course, but it might be a little more difficult if they aren’t naturally drawn to it.

Next time you see she’s depressed, or in some state that you think you can help, simply ask her if she wants to know how you would deal with it. Explain it to her clearly and rationally. She’ll either show interest, or she won’t. As you said, short of shoving it down her throat, there’s not much else you ca do but gently bring it up once in a while.

Perhaps there will be some additional suggestions in the comment section below.

New Book: The Five-Minute Buddhist Meditates: http://amzn.to/17eZJ16